Our beautiful, crazy, wonderful life

GO BLUE!! (or Red?)

2012-02-08T15:38:00.003-05:00

In our home the most important color has been BLUE. It is my favorite color as well as Mark's, but most importantly it is a way of declaring allegiance for my husband. For those who don't know, Mark was born in Michigan, and as far as sports go, he is true to his home state. It is true that he only lived there for the first couple years of his life, but a boy is taught sports by his Father and Mark has not strayed from that teaching. From a very young age he has tried to instill the importance of rooting for the "right team" in our sons. GO BLUE!!

Elijah is still too young to vocalize his preferences, but that has never been an issue for Gabriel. He was vocal very early and definitely knows his own mind. For a while now he has known that his favorite color is Red. Everything should be red in Gabriel's eyes. When we go somewhere he wants the town, person's home, or store to be red. Not too long ago, when Mark was driving in circles waiting for me to come out of a store, Gabriel asked him if the circles they were driving in could be red. He wishes the whole world could be red. This is one of the colors of the "evil rival", so this fasination with all things red has been a bit of a concern for Mark.

(His facination with the color might have something to do with a certain red race car. Cachow!)

Recently, Gabriel said to Mark, "Daddy, when I grow up and play football on tv, I will wear red and you can wear red too and cheer for me in red." At first, Mark's face fell and I could see he was a little sad because of this declaration. But, my wonderful husband just looked at each of his sons and said, "I will always cheer for you and Eli, no matter what. Even if you choose to wear red." Now that's love!

Visiting (Birth) Family

2012-02-06T18:10:00.000-05:00

About two months ago we were talking to Andrea, Gabriel’s birth mom, and we mentioned that we would really like to come see her again. We were able to see her and her mother, Tammy for the first time since Gabriel was born last August. We had talked on the phone, on the internet, and sent her pictures, but it was so wonderful to actually see her and spend time with her. Since that first visit, Mark and I had talked about how we didn’t want to go so long between visits again. So, when I broached the subject with her in November we were hoping she would interested in another visit as well. She definitely was, and told us that her grandmother and grandfather, who we also met when Gabriel was born, were upset that they hadn’t been able to see us (well, mostly Gabriel) during our last visit. Andrea said we could probably meet at her grandparents’ home this time, so we started making plans. We all agreed it would be easier to plan a time after the first of the year, so that is what we did.

One week before we were supposed to travel the two hours for our visit we all got sick. It was just a cold, but a fairly serious one, and I was very worried that we would end up having to reschedule. We prayed that we would recover in time to go and we were blessed. The day before we went we were all in good health, finally! We gathered everything we were taking with us and were on our way. The trip up and back went very well, which is no small feat with a three-year-old and one-year-old. When we got there Andrea, Nana Tammy (Andrea’s mother), Grandma Donna and Grandpa Ken (Andrea’s grandparents) were all waiting for us. They welcomed us in quickly and we immediately exchanged gifts. We had bought a single picture frame to put a picture of Andrea and me together in, and a collage in which I had already put pictures of her three children (including Gabriel). We hadn’t expected it, but they had gifts for both Gabriel and Elijah. The boys were thrilled to say the least! We spent the next four and a half hours talking and playing with the boys. They were wonderful! It was so obvious that they loved seeing Gabriel, but they also loved on Eli as though he were their grandson too. How could anyone think that having more love in a child’s life could possibly be a bad thing? It felt so natural to talk to them and be in their home. At the end of the visit we all agreed that we would like to do this more often. We told them that we would like for them to come to Gabriel’s birthday party in August, and we are planning a trip up to see them again in a few months. Mark and I are both very happy with the way our relationship with Gabriel’s birth family is evolving. We love them. We are family.

Sunshine!!

2012-02-01T19:58:00.000-05:00

I've been working on a post about how

I don't like winter,

I miss the sunshine during these months,

I long for warmth.

Then the crazy Ohio weather gave us today.

The high today was 62 degrees!!!

It was sunny and beautiful

and we took advantage by going outside and playing.

So, I'll save that winter pick-me-up post for another time

and just be thankful for the great day we've been given.

Hoping to Adopt

2012-01-21T11:26:00.001-05:00

We are hoping to adopt! We are so excited to be working toward adding another child (and their first family) to our family. We are approved through LDS Family Services. You can see our profile at https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/27073241/ourMessage.jsf and http://www.hopingtoadopt.org/index.php/family/letters/450. One of the best ways to share this dream of ours is through our family and friends, so if you know of anyone who might be interested in finding out more about our family or adoption in general, please share these links with them! You can also email us at markandsarah13@gmail.com. One of the great things about our agency is that they offer free counseling services to expectant parents to help them figure out what their options are, and whether to place their child for adoption or choose to parent. Our Social Worker's name is Kimberly Toronto and she is very easy to talk to. If you would like to reach her directly you can call the Ohio LDS Family Services office at 614-836-2466 or email at torontokw@ldsfamilyservices.org. We know that Heavenly Father is directing the work of adoption. We have seen the way in which adoption can join the hearts and lives of those involved, and we are so grateful that we have been able to have this amazing blessing in our lives.

Back to Basic, Back to Blogging

2012-01-19T13:06:00.002-05:00

In 2010 I decided that one of the things I wanted to include as a New Year's resolution was to blog more, and I did. However, after Eli was born I felt a need to get back to basics on many levels...hmm, I wonder why. Having a new baby, I imagine, can do that for you. Another thing that has been on my mind is our relationships with each of the boys' birth moms. This blog was started, in part, for them, but I was feeling the need to reach out to them more, so we have made that effort. We haven't been successful on all fronts, but I am definitely pleased with where our relationship with Andrea, Gabriel's birth mom, has progressed to. On August 6^th, two days before Gabe's 3^rd birthday, we saw Andrea and her mother Tammy for the first time since Gabriel was born. It was an awesome experience. I feel like we have grown much closer. We have called, we have messaged through Facebook, we talked through Skype on Christmas, and I am so excited to say that we have another trip planned in the next couple weeks to go see her and more of her extended family. Gabriel is so excited! He keeps telling people "we have 16 more days (or however many it may be) til we go see my tummy mommy!". I love seeing how excited he is and feeling that excitement myself. I love that he knows her, that he tells people about her, and that he knows that she loves him. She will always be a part of us because she is a part of him, and she means so much to us. I hope to develop a closer relationship with Eli's birth mom in the future. Even though we are not in contact with her now, she is always in our thoughts and prayers, and we love her.

The boys are wonderful. I love being at home with them! I love my husband, who works hard, so that I can be at home, and who wants me there as much as I want to be there. Gabriel learns so quickly. He is learning to identify his numbers and letters, and even writing a little. He loves to color with markers, paint, and read books. He likes playing with cars, trains, and pretty much any toy with wheels or wings. He also likes to build things. We have recently had a friend come do some repairs around our house and he has let Gabriel watch as he works on things. Gabriel has been in heaven. He is such a smart kid and he loves to see how things work.

My Gabriel is so full of adventure

I love to see him happy

Elijah will be 18 months old and he is every bit as ornery. Whoever said the terrible twos start at 2 years old was lying. Still, he is also such a sweet heart. Even at this young an age you can tell that he loves his family. He wants to do everything his big brother does and he is almost as tall as Gabriel, so he tries a lot of what Gabriel does, which makes for a very nervous mommy sometimes. He still loves to cuddle. He also loves all things vehicular. He got a car that he can sit on for Christmas and he plays on it most of the day. He doesn't use words very much, I think because he has a big brother who does a lot of talking for him, and he seems to get his point across without talking. We have been working on getting him to talk to us lately and he is making a good deal of progress. He is so tall, and we expect by the time he is ready to be baptized that Eli will be as tall as Mark.

My beautiful Eli

I love this picture of my boys. They love each other so much and it makes us so happy!

It is amazing the amount of joy a happy family brings. Believe me, things are not perfect, but perfect is not really the point. It is definitely true that it is the little things that bring the greatest happiness.

Baby Brother!

2010-08-03T13:43:00.013-04:00

It's a boy! He is beautiful and healthy and we are so grateful to have another baby. Everything has happened so fast that I think I am still a bit in shock. We had 17 days from when we found out we had been chosen by a birth mother to when our son was born. Elijah Daniel Leland entered the world on July 19th and it seems our world has changed yet again.

Mark and I traveled down to Huntington, West Virginia on Sunday evening, the 18th, as we had been told that Eli's birth mother would be induced Monday morning. We left Gabriel in the capable hands of our friends, Cortney and Greg. It was really hard being away from him for four days, and we couldn't have done it without them and the many family members who have helped in caring for him or driving back and forth to see us. On Monday we sat in the waiting room for many hours without almost any information. Because of some of the details of our birth mother's situation, the hospital staff were VERY uneasy about sharing any information even when they had signed releases. We finally were told around 3pm by the hospital Social Worker, who was amazing, that it was still going to be a while before the baby was born. She advised that we take a break from sitting in the waiting room, go back to our hotel, and do something to relax. We went back to the hotel and took a nap, which was just what we both needed as we hadn't gotten much sleep the night before.

A little after 5pm our case worker, Spencer, came to our hotel to let us know what was going on. While we were napping he had arrived at the hospital and had talked to our birth mom. That morning she had asked the hospital Social Worker what her rights were for keeping the baby. This is a totally normal reaction for a birth mom. Who wouldn't hesitate to give their baby to someone else to raise? Spencer, who is fabulous at working with birth moms without pressuring them to place, came to the hospital to talk to her, see how she was feeling, and help her to understand her options. Once she had the chance to talk with him she was able to better understand her options and come back to the conclusion that she was making the right choice for this baby to give him to us. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to meet us, and whether or not she wanted to share her last name with us. This would determine whether or not we would be able to spend any time with the baby before the relinquishment papers were signed. So, Monday was a very stressful day for all involved. Still, we knew that Heavenly Father would help Eli's birth mom to know what she needed to do and if we were meant to be the parents of this baby, he would help that to happen.

Some how we were able to sleep on Monday night. We got up the next morning, got ready to go, and sat and waited for some word as to what was going on. Finally, at about 10:15am, Spencer texted Mark and said that we should come to the hospital and that we would be able to see the baby. We quickly grabbed our wallets, phones, camera, and a few other things and drove the 5 minutes to the hospital. I think that was the moment I realized how grateful I was that Mark had insisted we spend more money to stay closer to the hospital in a nicer hotel. After extensive identity checking, we were put in an empty patient room while a nurse went to get the baby. It was only about a half hour from the time we got the text to when we finally got to meet Elijah, but it felt like forever. He was worth the wait. He was so tiny, but long. He has a ton of soft black hair and beautiful dark brown, almost black, eyes. He is beautiful. Unlike his brother, who was born C-section, Eli was a little beat up from delivery. He has a stork bite on his face, which was very bright, and he was very puffy. Still, we thought he was amazing. We were able to be with him for many hours that day in the privacy of that patient room. It was perfect.

Spencer also told us that Elijah's birth mom had decided that she did want to meet us. I met with her by myself first, then later that day, Mark also met her. Over the next few days I spent several hours with her, getting to know her and talking about Eli. She felt that it was very important that we, as mothers, get to know each other and bond. One of the many ways we knew that this baby is meant to be a part of our family was how he was named. As many of you know, Gabriel has two middle names. One was given to him from his birth mom and one from us. Eli's birth mom asked if we would be willing to give him the middle name of Leland, but she didn't think it went well with Elijah, so she suggested that we could give him another middle name as well. It was perfect. This solution went perfectly with what we had already done with Gabriel. I think it is a wonderful tradition that our birth moms have been able to give our sons a middle name and it just shows how Heavenly Father helps us see how right certain situations are. The second and third day we spent with Elijah in the hospital they stuck us in the overflow nursery area. It was far from ideal or comfortable, but we were with Eli and it was a little amusing.

I will forever be grateful for the experience of spending time with Eli's birth mom. She told me toward the end of our time there that she was very grateful that she chose to meet us and that this is what finally helped her to know that she was doing the right thing. She told us that she came to understand that because she loves Eli, that giving him to us is the most selfless and loving thing she could do for him. We are so thankful for her. She is amazing, as is Gabriel's birth mom. We have great respect for them. While being able to take our babies home from the hospital is one of the most exciting and happy times of our lives, knowing that their birth moms are feeling so sad is very sad for us. It is truely a bitter sweet experience.

We were reunited with Gabriel that night, thanks to Mark's wonderful sister, Sarah, and it was so fun to see Gabriel meet his baby brother for the first time. He was excited and gentle and it was great! Sarah also brought my nephew, Collin, who stayed with me for several days after Mark and Sarah had to go back to Ohio. All together, I was in West Virginia for 18 days. By the end I was going a little crazy, but it was definately worth it. We now have our beautiful Elijah.

He is so completely different from Gabriel, except in his very fast growth. He was 6 pounds 13 ounces, and 20 inches (really 21, but he wouldn't cooperate) when he was born. At his 3 week check up he was already 9 pounds. He loves to cuddle especially with his mommy. He is definately a momma's boy. Gabriel was and is still very social. Even as a new born baby, he wanted to be able to see what was going on, so we had to hold him facing out. Gabriel was standing a lot of the time, by about 3 weeks old. He was a big daddy's boy. He loved his momma, but he still adores his daddy. They are best buds. Eli on the other hand is all about momma. He has attached to me so quickly and completely that it has surprised me a bit. I love being the person who can sooth him at all times. He is content to stare into someones eyes for a long time, and he is more interested in cuddling then in seeing what there is to see. We love both of our boys so much! They have each brought such unique and amazing things into our lives.

Elijah's statistics:
born July 19th at 7:43pm

6lbs, 13oz

20 inches

Happy Mother's Day to our Birth Mother

2010-05-09T09:32:00.007-04:00

Happy Mother's day! I love being a mom. There is no doubt about it, this is what I was waiting and hoping for since I was a little girl. I have always wanted to be a mother. Almost two years ago, Mark and I found out about Gabriel's birth mother, Andrea. She was searching for the right family for the baby she was carrying, and she chose us. We have been beyond grateful for that choice ever since. Gabriel is a beautiful, unique, and amazing light in our lives. While Mark and I were happy in our marriage before he came to our family, he has brought a completely new and wonderful part to our lives that we could not have had otherwise. He has made our marriage stronger. He has helped us learn and grow and love even more. He is beauty in our lives.

As I was saying a prayer with Gabriel this morning, I thought of Andrea. Without her, I could not have been his mom. Andrea, you will forever be in our lives. We think of you everyday. We pray for you every night before Gabriel goes to bed. We have started to tell him about you and your family, who loved (and I'm sure still do love) him so much. I know you loved him and I try every day to give him what you wanted for him.

So, today I wanted to say to you, Gabriel's first mother-Happy Mother's Day! I am proud to share this day with you.

I love you

2010-04-27T21:21:00.005-04:00

Tuesday evening we went out for dinner, because Mark hadn't eaten all day, and he decided he really wanted a steak. While we were at the restaurant I realized that I hadn't brought my cell phone with me and I had to go strait from there to the church for youth activity night. Mark offered to let me take his phone with me and I did. When I came home he told me that he and Gabriel had made me a gift on my phone. Here it is:

The "Ah Lala lu" or "I love you" at the end is my favorite. Mostly he says it when prompted, but every once in a while he just says it out of the blue. It makes my heart melt every time.

From the sicky sickos

2010-04-18T17:27:00.005-04:00

I am so sick of being sick! I know I promised to post about Mark's time off awhile ago, but it seems I have been dealing with some type of infirmity or another for the past month. We had a wonderful time while he was off. We went to the Newport Aquarium with my mom and step-dad and had a wonderful time. We went at a leisurely pace the whole time and we all enjoyed the beautiful, scary, and strange that they had to offer. I think Gabriel's favorite area was the jelly fish, which he kept calling bubbles. We took some pictures, which I will publish as their own post.

For 24 hours of Mark's time off Gabriel went to him Mawmar's house (Sarah's mom) and Mommy and Daddy got to spend some much needed couple time. We firmly believe that it is important to keep our relationship strong now so when our children leave home (which eventually we hope they do) we will still love and like each other. While I love my son, the most important relationship in my life is my marriage. Mark continues to be my bestfriend. I love seeing him as a father. Seeing him in this role only strengthens my love for him. I couldn't ask for a better, more kind father for my children.

Mostly, we just spent time together, which was the point of Mark taking time off. It was exactly what I had hoped for.

Since then, I threw my back out and have had other sicknesses. Gabriel had an ear infection a couple of weeks ago, and then this week I took him back to the pediatrician due to an infection in his eyes. Getting a 20 month old to hold still while putting eye drops in their eyes is no easy task. He got this eye infection from a nasty cold, which he has now passed on to me. Within about 24 hours it went from a soar throat to a fever and loosing my voice. I have now passed it on to Mark in about 24 hours time. Thankfully, Mark doesn't seem to be as bad as I am and he has taken good care of us while we have been sick. I am grateful my husband is so willing to pick up the slack whenever I can't do my share, and without complaint too.

Our summer is already filling up with fun adventures. Mark's brother is getting married June 12th. We are going camping hopefully later in June, and I am planning on going to Palmyra, NY for youth conference in July. My best friend from college, Debbie, was planning on coming here from Utah in July with her family, but that trip has sadly been canceled. Still, it is going to be a fun summer with lots of family time. We are all excited and for now we are enjoying the beauty of spring. We hope you are all enjoying it where ever you may be as well.

Ohhh, I'm so excited!

2010-03-16T15:26:00.003-04:00

Mark is taking time off! Back in January I suggested that Mark schedule some time off in March because there are not any holidays that he has off between New Year's Day and Memorial Day. So, starting this Friday we will have 6 days of relaxation and fun as a family. We are going to the Newport Aquarium and we might go to the Columbus Zoo. Mostly, we are just going to hang out at home and relax. We are all so excited! I think even Gabriel knows that something is coming. I'll post more about what we did with some pictures next week.

Other than that things are pretty much the same. Gabriel says a new word every day (which is not an exaggeration). He remains the most adorable, ornery little boy. When Mark is here they are pretty much inseparable, but no one;s kiss can heal like mommy's. I love being his mommy. So, until next week I hope you are all doing well and that you get to spend some quality time with those you love.

Best Friends

2010-03-08T22:03:00.002-05:00

This is Gabriel's best friend E.

I babysit E and his older brother a few days a week. They live next door. Sometimes when I put Gabriel to bed and he is getting fussy, I say, "it's an E day tomorrow. You have to go to bed so he can come over in the morning" and he lays down and goes to sleep. When he saw them coming over the other day he got so excited. He was jumping up and down and squealing with delight. When I go get E up from a nap they see each other and they both start laughing and run over to each other. They love each other. E is almost exactly 6 months older then Gabe. They follow each other around playing together all day. When I come into the room where they are playing they look at me and run away, like they don't want me to interupt their conspiratorial behavior.

Yes, Gabriel is sitting on E's lap in that second picture.

Sometimes, when it is a non-babysitting day I think Gabriel thinks to himself, "I wish E was here". Don't get me wrong, Gabriel loves his mommy, but I think he gets a little bored when it is just the two of us and I am trying to get some house work done. Hopefully we will get to have some fun out of doors soon and he won't be quite so bored without his bestfriend.

Our little man

2010-02-01T11:32:00.009-05:00

Last Friday Gabriel got his hair cut for the first time. I have been saying that he needed it cut for a while, but Mark kept saying no. He just wasn't ready to leave behind the baby look of Gabriel's hair. However, he was developing a bit of a mullet, so when I said we should go get his hair cut (for the hundredth time) and Mark said yes, we were on our way 35 minutes later. Mark had taken the day off, so it was a perfect time. We had talked about Mark cutting Gabriel's hair, but he said that for the first time he thought we should go somewhere and have it done. I quickly agreed. We went to a local place called Cookie Cutters that specializes in children's hair cuts. Here are a few pictures of what it looks like.

It was a really fun looking place. As you can see, each of the chairs was something fun like a dinosaur, a rocket ship, a race car, or (what Gabriel sat it) a tractor. They were arranged in a circle and in the middle was a television for each chair. Here are some of the before shots. They don't fully give a good picture of how long and scragly his hair was getting, but let's just say it's bad when daddy is tucking it into his collar on Sunday in order to hide how long it's become.

He did a fantastic job of sitting still. He thought the tractor was great fun and Daddy did a great job of keeping him entertained while I snapped away with the camera. The lady who cut his hair kept saying, "I can't believe how great he is doing."

Even when she brought out the little shears to do the edges he was very good. He didn't throw a fit when Daddy had to hold his head still or because Mommy kept telling him to smile.

He looks like such a little man. Although, we decided that without the wispy hair his cheeks look even chubbier than before. His beautiful eyes also stand out now more than ever. People already were constantly commenting on his beautiful eyes. How can you not fall in love with that face? It's impossible. And for a treat, here's a pic of his fishy face :). Love it!

Hoping for another little miracle

2010-01-18T09:42:00.007-05:00

Actually, we don't think adopting another child would be a little miracle at all- adoption is always a huge miracle. Last Friday, we were officially opproved for a second adoption! We are so excited about this. We know, Gabriel will only be eighteen months old in a few weeks, but we're ready. When we adopted Gabriel it was 18 months from when we applied to when we took him home. This is pretty much average. We started our application for a second adoption the beginning of September, so if the average holds it will still be a while until we have another baby placed with us. However, it could also be tomorrow. We would love for it to be sooner rather than later.

Gabriel has been the most beautiful gift in our lives. Even as he becomes an obstinate toddler, I still look at him and think "You are so precious. I love you so much." We don't have any concern about loving another child as much as we love him. He has shown us how love simply grows rather than dividing. We are so excited to share the love we have in our little family with another child.

We are working with LDS Family Services, which is the agency we worked with when we adopted Gabriel. One of the great things that our agency does is provide counseling and support services for birth parents without pressure or judgement. If you or someone you know would like to know more about adoption, please go to itsaboutlove.org. This is a no pressure way to learn more and you can be directed as to how to speak with an adoption counselor in your area who can help you to decide if adoption is the right option for you. You can also see our profile at www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/23704159/ourMessage.jsf .

To our future child: We can't wait to meet you...we love you.

He sure is thorough

2010-01-16T22:09:00.013-05:00

It's 10:10pm on Saturday night. Mark and I have to speak in sacrament meeting tomorrow. I've been done writing my talk for about an hour now. Mark will not be done for hours yet. I'm a little nervous about how things will be when he is in school and he has to write papers. I am afraid we will see him even less then we see him now and that's not very much. At least he's thorough. So, while I am sitting here I thought I would take the chance to write another post.

Last Thursday evening I went out to dinner with six of my friends from high school. We get together occasionally and catch up on one another's lives. I personally think that it is pretty great that we all still get along and care about each other. We had a good time.

My friend Audra asked me if Gabriel has hit the terrible 18 months yet. She said whoever said it starts at two lied. I absolutely agree! While generally Gabriel is a pleasant child, he is definitely becoming more moody. A week ago Friday was especially difficult. He woke up and said to me "who is it, Daddy?" (he calls Mark "who is it" because I use to ask him this question every time Mark came home. He has recently tacked on Daddy to the end.) He continued to ask for Daddy all day and he grew increasingly irritated with me when I couldn't produce him. He would not eat lunch at all. For those of you who have seen my son's belly (which he loves to show off) you know that skipping a meal is not normal behavior for Gabriel. He was just plain contrary. After his nap I still had not eaten lunch so I made myself a grilled cheese. I decided to make an extra one and formulated a plan. I told Gabriel "this is Mommy's and you can't have any". Of course, he ate an entire sandwich himself because of this statement. By the time Mark got home, I was exhausted emotionally and physically. It is amazing how a 17-month-old can wear you out so much.

One day this last week I was trying to get Gabriel to do something and he just wouldn't listen. Finally I said to him "am I just talking for my own entertainment?". He turned around, looked at me, and shook his head yes. I'll admit, I couldn't help but laugh. I guess better that than screaming, right? He is better about doing things for Mark, but the truth is he throws a huge fit when I leave. To be honest, I love that just a little. I just hope he does okay when we start leaving him in nursery in a few weeks. Wish us luck.

Here's some pictures of the last few months. I'll try to limit how many I post.

Halloween was fun. Isn't our little lion adorable? He won cutest boy costume at the church kids fashion show. This costume has been through all six boys on Sarah's side of the family.

Bringing home the Christmas tree, opening presents, and Sarah's siblings. Aren't they a handsome group?

I know how to handle food.

Walking around in Mommy's shoes. So cute!

And now I'm going to bed. Good night!

2010-01-13T11:53:00.005-05:00

Last year I didn't make any New Year's resolutions. This year I unofficially have three. One is to blog more often, two is to take my LISW exam, and three is to loose weight. I suppose writing about them makes them official. Anyway, it is now the...what day is it?...it's the 13th of January and I am just now writing a post. I've been wondering why I feel so much more overwhelmed with accomplishing anything lately. It seems any task takes me twice as long as it use to and unless something is really important, it is not likely to get done in a timely fashion if at all. I've especially been thinking about how much more I had on my plate last year with an internship and classes, but how I seemed to be able to get everything done. Well, today I randomly saw this article and it gave me some insight as to why I'm feeling this way. It also helped me realize that I'm not defective and I'm not the only one.

I thankfully don't have any friends who have expressed this kind of attitude. I also feel like I was considerate to my friends with children before I became a mom. However, I think I have inflicted some unrealistic expectations on myself (I know, big surprise). I feel like I can never get enough done. No matter how hard I try, I cannot keep my house clean. There is constantly laundry or dishes to be done, or toys to pick up. I rarely get to shower before noon. I just took down our Christmas decorations yesterday. It's all I can do to get dinner on the table some days. Little things like going to the grocery store, the doctors office, or the dry cleaners take a lot of planning.

I told myself that it was due to the fact that my husband is working 50-60 hours a week and I'm babysitting a few days a week. While I'm sure these things contribute to my lack of productivity, this article helped me realize that it's because I'm a mom of a 17 month old little boy. I am constantly having to keep an eye on him. It is no exaggeration to say that if I turn my back for more than a few minutes that he will be in to something he shouldn't be. While writing this I have already had to get up and intervene/instruct about something seven times. I especially liked the part about constant use of your voice and teaching virtually everything. It's a lot to be responsible for. I'm exhausted at the end of the day and when I try to explain to Mark why I'm so tired, I feel like I have so little to actually tell about.

Yet, she is right. It is a choice that I have made to stay home with my son. Thankfully, Mark is very supportive and constantly tells me how grateful he is that I am at home. I would not choose to be anywhere else. This coming Sunday Mark and I are giving talks in Sacrament meeting and in one of the conference talks we are speaking on Dallin H. Oaks said, "There is no area of parental action that is more needful of heavenly guidance or more likely to receive it than the decisions of parents in raising their children and governing their families. This is the work of Eternity." This made me realize that even though my days are filled with an endless amount of unfinished work, dirty diapers, dirty laundry, and dirty dishes, they are also filled by the irreplaceable influence that I have on my child and that he has on me.

So, I may not be the perfect housekeeper, the most available friend, or the most influential woman on earth, but I am the most influential person in my son's life. After all the years of struggle to become a mother I need to remember how important and valuable I know the job of being a mom is. I guess sometimes I just need a little reminder and I need to give myself a little slack. I'll keep trying to work on my goals, but maybe somethings are not as important as I make them seem. We'll see how it goes.

Days in the sun

2009-10-08T09:27:00.018-04:00

Warning! This post will be long and dedicated to our trip to Florida in June, but first I want to rant a little about technology and how it has slowed me down. I have had every intention of posting again quickly, but my camera had other ideas. I'm not sure how this happened, but my camera has been taking pictures so that they would be brilliant if printed as a 13x19" picture. This makes the digital size huge and impossible to download or even view in some programs without being edited. So, I have been editing all 600 of the pictures on my camera in order to make them usable. Needless to say, this has taken quite a bit of time, especially with my little one plus two others running around my house. Most of the time technology does wonderful things to make our lives easier, but other times they make things much more complicated. Some days I just want to turn off the phone, the computer, and the tv and just enjoy my life. Some days I do just that.

Now, back to my original reason for this post. From June 13th through the 20th we went on vacation to Tarpon Springs, Florida. After being told in Atlanta that we didn't have tickets for our next flight to Tampa and much stressful arguing and then waiting, we were able to get on the plane at the last minute and we arrived in Tampa. Our friends, Val and Jason, who we spent the week with, picked us up at the airport and we went strait to Orlando. That night Mark and Jason wonderfully agreed to watch Gabriel while Val and I went to a dueling piano bar at Disney World named: . It was so much fun. After going I wish that Mark could have gone with me, because I think he would have really liked it. There are basically two two-man teams and they switch places with the other team every hour. They were amazing. People would take up requests written on napkins and they would just bust them out. If they don't know a song, they go back stage during their hour off and learn the song. Then they come out and perform it with amazing skill. It was a great time.

The next day the five of us went to a restaurant at Disney. And walked around through some of their stores (we didn't actually go into Disney World). We got a few cute pictures of us trying on hats and the cool Lego creations outside the Lego store.

(Mark wasn't very happy about the hat experiment)

(The boys thought this one was really cool- I mean the two big boys:))

We then went to a mall where they had a store called Adrenalina where you could pay to surf in their wave pool. We watched some of their employees and a cutie 11 or 12 year old boy surf for a little while. If you go here you can see a great picture of their store. I wish I could have talked Mark into doing it, but he declined. After a little shopping we headed back to Tarpon Springs, where Val and Jason live. They have two girls ages 9 and 2 and two boys ages 7 and 4 who are super cuties. They were generous enough to give us the boys bedroom for the week.

They have a pool in their backyard (or I should say it is their backyard) and we spent a good amount of time there. Gabriel LOVED the pool. He had a great time playing with the kids and getting tossed back and forth between the adults. He was also the only one of the three of us who did not get a sunburn. We were very careful about reapplying sunscreen for him. I guess we should have been more careful ourselves, because Mark and I were both really burned after one day in the pool. Thus the tee-shirt.

We also spent a good amount of time in the living room playing on their new Wii. Mark and Jason would spend hours every day playing games with the kids and then another couple hours after the kids went to bed of uninterrupted gaming. The night before we left Valarie and I went in the family room and watched Twilight and the guys came in toward the end and told us that they had finally beat the tank game on Wii Play. I'm not sure we showed the desired amount of excitement, but I think they showed enough for all of us. Gabriel also started walking in earnest while we were there and he got his first tooth. He was a champ about the tooth, only being grumpy for one day.

On Tuesday we all went to the beach in Tampa. Since we were on the gulf side the waves were not very big, but it was perfect for taking little kids to the beach. We all had a great time. I think Gabriel didn't like the ocean as much as the pool due to the salt irritating his eyes, but he did like the sand. We forgot our camera, so Val took some pictures for us. I thought these two were really cute.

That evening Valarie's wonderful sister, Tracy, came over and babysat so the four of us could go out. We decided to go to an indoor mini golf place. None of us were very good, but it was a lot of fun. It was a haunted/scary theme and there were black lights, so everything glowed (as you can see from the pictures). Then we went to Coldstone for ice cream afterwards. Yummy!

On Thursday we packed all of the kids in the car and went to the Tarpon Springs aquarium. A few years ago we went to the Newport Aquarium, in Cincinnati, Ohio, with Mark's family. That place is amazing. It takes a couple hours to walk through and the exhibits are really cool. The Tarpon Springs Aquarium was nowhere near as big, but we had some opportunities that I'm not sure we could have at the larger aquarium. They had a touch tank at the entrance where we were able to "pet" several small shark, some horse shoe crab, and a turtle.

In the middle of the building was a 120,000 gallon aquarium where we watched a diving show. This consisted of a diver going into the tank to feed it's occupants, including several large sharks.

On the other side of the building were two large oval shaped tanks. One had stingrays that you could pet and feed by hand. You can see in the pictures we let Gabriel pet them- he loved it! Both Mark and I fed them. It felt really weird. You put the food on the palm of your hand and they come along and suck it off your hand. There was a lot of splashing as they vied for the food, which made me jump even more, but overall it was cool.

In the other tank there were sharks that we fed. As you can see in the picture, there was a wire grate over these sharks, but it didn't look incredibly sturdy. We used the same food for the stingrays to feed the sharks. This time we put it on blue sticks then put it down in the water where the sharks would bite it off of the stick. Mark lost his stick to the sharks as he fed them the last bit of food. It was pretty funny. The guy working there said it happens all the time, which made Mark feel a little better. Gabriel thought all of this was fantastic. I don't know if you can see from the picture, but I held on to him very tightly as we did this.

On Thursday evening Valarie and Jason were wonderful and allowed Mark and me to venture back into Tarpon Springs on our own to have a seafood dinner together. We went to a local seafood restaurant called Rusty Bellies. Sounds tasty, doesn't it? Well, it was amazing. I don't remember what Mark ordered, but I got the crab legs and they were so good. We sat outside and looked out on the water that the restaurant sat right next to. It was beautiful and very romantic.

The next day was our last full day. We were planning on just hanging out in the pool most of the day, but we went outside and found the pool infested with bugs. When we looked them up online we discovered that they were water lice.

Yeah, I was pretty creeped out too. Sorry that this is the last picture of this post, but I just had to share the creepiness with everyone. Needless to say, we didn't swim that day. We just played Wii and lounged around. That evening Tracy came over and watched the kids again while the four of us went out. We went to a mall close by, had dinner, and saw the movie The Proposal (which I thought was pretty funny). The next day we flew back home exhausted from our week of vacationing. I always say you need a few days of recuperation after your vacation before going back to work. Still, we had a great time! I just wish we could do that sort of thing more often. Ah well, on we go.

Bad, Bad Mommy

2009-09-10T14:24:00.017-04:00

I know, I've been very bad. We have had a crazy summer and I kept feeling like I should blog about everything we've been doing, but I didn't. The longer I went without blogging, the more I had to blog about and the more daunting the task became. So, I'm going to do a series of posts about the things we have been up to this summer. They may be a bit picture heavy, but I'll do my best. I have to say, it has been one of the best summers I have had in years. I have been at home full time with Gabriel since I graduated and it has been wonderful. My house is the cleanest it has been in years and I love seeing Gabriel grow and learn every day. He is such a smart and inquisitive little boy (he's definitely not a baby any more). I know, every parent thinks these things about their child. I am no different. I know my child is the smartest ever!

On the down side, Mark has been working a ton. He has been putting in 55-60 hours a week and there are a days when we barely get to see him. We are really grateful that he has his job and that he is able to provide for our family. We just wish we could see him more. I'm sure there are lots of married women out there who understand when I say I feel like a single mother sometimes. I'm just really glad that that's not really the case. Thankfully, he has been able to join us for a few of our adventures this summer.

The first two events that I am going to mention (even though they weren't first to occur) are the birthdays we celebrated in August. On the 8th of last month our son turned ONE! Over the past few months we noticed the way he was looking less and less like a baby and more and more like a toddler.

One day old

Five days old

Three months old

Six months old

Nine months old

1st Birth Day!

By his birthday we had to admit (mostly, I had to admit) that he is not a baby anymore. Can you believe it's been a year since we brought that beautiful newborn home? I can't. This has been the best year of my life because I have been able to share the experience of being a parent with Mark. I love being Gabriel's mommy. We didn't have a birthday party (more on this later) until the 29th, but we went to a wedding reception that evening, so Gabriel did have cake on his birthday.

It wasn't the strip-the-baby-down-and-let-him-go-at-it event that would come a few weeks later, but he still loved it.

On the 30th of August my wonderful husband turned the big 3-0! He frequently reminds me that I am only 9 months younger than he is, so I won't make a huge deal about how OLD he is. At his request, we decided to have a joint birthday party for the two birthday boys. Little did I know quite how much work it would be to put together such an event. The theme was rockets/space which was inspired by the quilt my mom was making Gabriel for his birthday. I made the invitations. Here are a few examples of what they looked like:

We invited some close friends and our immediate family members which made up a group of 82 people! We rented a shelter at a local park, decorated the tables, and provided a dinner of hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, pop, and other sides.

The biggest amount of work, however, went into the four cakes that I made. Two were just cakes in 9x13 pans, but the other two were masterpieces of love. Okay, really they were rocket ships, but I worked on those rocket ships all day. There was a large one for Mark and a smaller one for Gabriel. Thank goodness I had Mark there to keep me sane. We almost lost both cakes several times and I started hyper-ventilating, but he calmed down and helped me brainstorm until we came up with a solution. In the end I was very proud of my work.

The party as a whole was deemed a success. Everyone seemed to have fun and Gabriel had a grand time destroying/devouring his cake.

One of the best parts was that I didn't have to clean my house before or after the party (except for the cake bits all over my kitchen). I am slowly becoming resigned to the fact that my baby is no longer a baby. He has two teeth, says lots of words and phrases (his favorite being "get it!"), walks like a pro, and is starting to try to climb the stairs (baby gate will be installed shortly). We love him so much and we are so grateful for the year we have had and the many to come.

A big sigh of relief...

2009-06-06T21:42:00.003-04:00

I'M DONE!!!! Woo-woo, yeah, that's right, uh-huh, uh-huh (chanted as I dance around). As of yesterday at 12:44pm I had officially completed all of the requirements for my masters degree in Social Work. So what am I going to do now? I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I'm going to Disney World. Okay, not really Disney World, but we're going to Florida for a week. We leave next Saturday, the day after graduation. We are all VERY excited! Mark needs a vacation as much, if not more, than I do.

Along those lines, I want to publicly thank my husband for the love and support that he has given me. A lot of people were supportive of me throughout completing this degree. My dad gave me hand-me-down text books and his notes from taking the comprehensive exam three years earlier. My mom constantly pushed me to keep going even though certain things were really hard to deal with. But I literally could not have done this without Mark. He was supportive the entire time. He did not complain when I had to work all evening on a paper. He strongly encouraged me not to procrastinate. He didn't bat an eye when we paid his sister extra for watching Gabriel on a day off so I could do school work (which thankfully only happened twice). He was wonderful. I love you, Mark. I feel like this is OUR success. Thank you.

Three beasts and a boy

2009-05-01T19:05:00.014-04:00

We have three animals. One cat who knows he is a house cat, one cat who thinks he is a wild bobcat, and a slobbering beast, other wise know as our dog. Euan is our wild cat. He reminds me of the bobcat who tried to pee on Mark at the zoo(maybe I'll tell this story another time for my own entertainment), full of puff and attitude. He is not afraid of our beast of a dog, he refuses to be pet by a person's hands (only feet for this cat), and he tries to attack things through our windows (yes he has done this repeatedly). He also has a fetish for small children. We discovered this last year when our friends, Val and Jason, brought their one year old to visit. He followed her around and tried to get on her lap. This has continued with Gabriel. Our other cat, Midnight, has the good sense to run away when ever Gabriel comes near. Euan seeks Gabriel out. Here is one of the times he has decided he needed Gabriel's attention (I'll narrate for Gabriel):

"Do you realize where you are?"

"Let's sneak in there slowly.

Maybe he won't notice I'm touching him"

"Hey, maybe we could be pals"

"Okay dude, I think your invading my space now"

"Did you see that mom?"

This:
is our 100lb bloodhound. She terrorizes our normal cat and any animal that comes into our yard. She has even been known to make a few grown men nervous. However, we have recently discovered that she is easily terrorized by the very small resident of our home.

The other day Gabriel snuck up on Savannah and tried to touch her. It was crazy. That huge dog ran away from my little baby. I couldn't really catch it the other day, but the scene repeated itself today.

Here he is sneaking up on her:

She realizes what's going on and tries to run away

Mark made her lay there while Gabriel touched her.

She says "dad, don't make me do that again"

while the terrorizer is having an idea in the background.

I swear, he came up with this all on his own. It was like he was saying,

"ha,ha, I know how to make you hold still.

It is so fun to watch these stories unfold. I love that it seems I can see what he thinking and the ideas that come to him. It seems he is his fathers son: mischievous and full of adventure. I'm in for some serious trouble. And some serious fun.

A perfect day...

2009-04-28T12:53:00.010-04:00

I know, I know. It has been forever since I last posted and now I've done two in one day. I had to take Gabriel to the pediatrician this morning and it ends up he has an ear infection, so I decided to stay home with him the rest of the day. He obviously feels so awful and I couldn't leave him. He's taking a nap and I'm taking advantage of this time by blogging. Things in the Gocha household have been good lately. Mark had to go on a business trip to New Orleans last week and we missed him a lot. Especially because I had a paper due on Friday and Gabriel was had this cold last week. But then he returned and we were happy again.

Last Saturday we went to a local tourist attraction called Old Man's Cave. It's in an area called the Hocking Hills and it's about an hour or so southeast of us. Our lawn really needed to be mowed and we had house work to do, but I'm glad we did this instead. We went with Barb and Brandon and their three kids and it was fantastic! I had decided I wanted to do this about a month ago, so I talked to Mark about it and then called Barb to set up a time. Barb and I have literally know each other my entire life and our families use to spend just about every Christmas together. We had been down to Old Man's Cave together before, but not as adults. It ended up being just about as perfect as possible. We had a nice picnic lunch, the weather was beautiful, and no one got hurt (hey, that's a big deal when you're married to Mark). The only bad part was that we BOTH forgot our cameras. Can you believe it? It's okay though. We had so much fun we made plans to go again in a month and a half.

Speaking of a month and a half... I'm graduating with my Masters degree on June 12th! I CAN NOT WAIT! It is going to be so wonderful to be at home with Gabriel every day. I have to admit I still cry sometimes when I have to drop him off in the morning. I just feel really blessed that I am going to have this opportunity.

Gabriel is of course still growing constantly. People constantly make comments about how obvious it is that he never misses a meal. I personally love his chunkiness. Along with his above average size is coming a high activity level. He crawls like a pro and he is cruising along the furniture. Last night he took a few steps from me to Mark without me holding on to him! Granted, he was very wobbly, but I have no doubt he'll be walking really soon. I just keep telling him it's too soon, but he definitely has a mind of his own. He is also trying to climb the stairs every chance he gets. I keep telling Mark we need to get a baby gate up, but I don't think he really got how serious I was until I told him I found Gabriel on the second step of the stairs the other day. I had barely turned around and there he was. We've taken a few pictures (though not of that time- I snatched him right up before he fell) of his recent escapades.

For the love of Dada

2009-03-23T16:16:00.006-04:00

Gabriel LOVES his dada. He lights up the minute he sees Mark. Lately he has taken to laughing hystarically at anything Mark does or says (except, of course, when he is taking a bit too long to get Gabriel's food- hey the food is sacred). It is the most beautiful thing to see how excited he gets when Mark is around. It makes me cry on a regular basis. Mark also thinks that Gabriel is the most fantastic thing. He is like a kid when he plays with Gabe. He hides behind the island in the kitchen to play peek-a-bo0, he holds him in front of a mirror just to see his excited little face when he sees his reflection, he explains things endlessly to Gabriel, and he laughs hystarically right back when Gabriel laughs. They are best buds and I love to see it. I've been trying to transfer some video I took of the two of them the other day, but I can't seem to get it to work. Any thoughts? We have a digital camera, but it records on to a tape. In stead I'll just share some recent pictures of the two of them.

For Eternity

2009-02-25T13:23:00.014-05:00

Last Thursday at 4pm we legally became Gabriel's parents! We went downtown to a restaurant with Mark's parents and Sarah's mom and had lunch before the court hearing. We then made our way over to the court house where we wound our way through the maze of metal detectors and hallways, until we found the tiny waiting room for the courtroom where our fate would be decided.

The judge was very nice. She made an effort to help us feel comfortable while still stressing the seriousness of the hearing. We were asked many questions about our ability to give Gabriel the things he needs. Both the judge and our attorney stressed over and over that this was final, that he would be our responsibility legally until he turns 18, and that no matter what happens he will be our child. Mark and I both knew that this would not change anything for us. Gabriel has been our child from the very start. When they asked if we felt that we had developed a bond with Gabriel and he with us, there was no doubt. We love him and he loves us. We are a family.

After all of the questions were asked and answered she declared that from this time forward Gabriel is legally our son! And Gabriel slept through the whole thing. I know, funny right? he woke up just in time for us to take pictures in his cute new outfit.

Then on Saturday we took Gabriel to the LDS Temple and we were sealed as a family for not just this life, but for eternity. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that we can be sealed together forever. We believe that after this life here on earth we continue in our relationships together and we will love and support one another. This was the greatest experience we have ever had. Gabriel was chatty, as usual, but as soon as the sealer started speaking, he stared up at him as if he knew the importance of what was happening. In the sealing room there are mirrors on opposite walls representing eternity. Once the words were spoken the sealer had the three of us kneel at the alter and look into the mirror on the opposite wall. He then had all of our family members who were there stand behind us and he reminded us of all of those who love us and support us. It was beautiful. If you have any questions about our church click here or contact your local LDS missionaries.

The next day Mark got up in Sacrament meeting and gave Gabriel a name and a blessing. He was emotional from the start and he did an amazing job. It was a beautiful blessing full of love and guidance.

The whole time these events were occurring our minds and hearts were aware of a person who was not with us- Andrea, Gabriel's birth mother. We are so grateful to her for the selfless gift she has given all of us. We haven't heard from her for a while, but we think about her and Audrey, her 2 year old daughter. We hope that they are doing well. Andrea- we want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for making this indescribable blessing possible!

Some of you may be wondering why it took me so long to post this. On Saturday, after we had an open house that about 100 people attended, I started running a fever. On Monday I went to my doctor who took one look at me and said, "I'm not even going to swab you for a culture. You definitely need to be on antibiotics." We're pretty sure I have strep throat.

Thanks to the Military Channel

2009-01-26T16:04:00.003-05:00

Mark's favorite channel on TV is the Military channel. I know, weird. He loves to watch the the History channel, Discovery channel, How It's Made shows, etc. Some of these I'm okay with. The majority of the time I'm bored out of my mind. He is very courteous about it though. He usually will offer to let me change the channel, which I REALLY appreciate.

So, the other day we were watching one of these shows and they were talking about how some farms use the animal waste (ie. cow crap) to create electricity to run the farm. That got me thinking about how we could put the 8 poopy diapers we are changing every day to good use. Gabriel certainly is not having a problem with too little fiber in his diet any more. (Don't worry, I'm not going to post a picture of a pile of poopy diapers to demonstrate what I'm talking about.)
I'm not saying this to complain. Gabriel is one of the two greatest joys in my life, poopy diapers and all. It was just an idea.

The most wonderful gift

2008-12-11T16:16:00.008-05:00

I am a free woman. Okay, I'm free from school work anyway.

Gabriel's four month check up was last thursday. He is so big! He weighs 16lbs 7oz (80th percentile) and is 251/4 inches long (75th percentile). His head is 60th percentile, so pretty much normal. Mark couldn't go to this appointment, so he gave me a list of things he wanted me to ask our pediatrician. One of them was about Gabriel's bowel movements (I know, really pleasant). Mark is a worrier. Me? Not so much. However, the doctor did say we should start feeding him veggies, fruit, diluted apple juice, and cereal in order to give him more fiber. I wasn't incredibly surprised, but Mark was really taken off guard. He said, "I just didn't realize that we were there yet. That's a whole new area to think about." I didn't think it was really that big a deal, but I do think Mark is awfully cute for being so surprised. He really is a wonderful and involved dad. I love him.

Yesterday Gabriel rolled over for the first time! I put him on his tummy on the floor and he eventually rolled onto his back. I left him there for a minute to go check on some baking, and when I came back he was back on his tummy. I was so excited that I was there. I am loving being home. I love being at home with Gabriel.

The holidays have taken on a whole new meaning for me this year, and we are loving the experience of Christmas with him. He is our greatest gift and blessing this year. I can't express how thankful I am to have him. Plus, how could you not love those cheeks? I am continuing a tradition of my mother's by making pastries for our friends, neighbors, and family. This is not just any pastry. It is filled with homemade custard, a crumb mixture, and has icing drizzeled all over it. It is soooo good. Here is a pic of the final product.

This Christmas I decided I was not going to let myself get stressed out about stuff and I am really enjoying myself.

Here are some photos from Christmas so far. He is such an inquisitive and happy baby and it really shows. We love him. What is the most wonderful gift I have this year? My family. No doubt. Merry Christmas.

Pumpkins, Romance, A Prince, and Beautiful New clothes. All we need is talking mice (or not).

2008-11-12T09:56:00.015-05:00

Is he the cutest pumpkin ever, or what?! Halloween was a lot of fun. Gabriel and I came home early that day since I only had one class instead of three. We cleaned the house, played together, and got ready for everyone to come over later that evening. Mark came home and decided that he needed to carve the pumpkin that was sitting on our kitchen table. Normally, I would have been irritated by this, but I was just so excited that I didn't care. Admittedly, when he was using that as an excuse to not go with us, I got a little miffed, but he finished quickly and came with us, so it was okay. Mark isn't fond of Halloween, but that's a completely different story.

So, my dad, Mark's parent's, his sister, Sarah, and Becky, Peter, Chase, Parker and Isaac all arrived between 5:45 and 6:15pm. We made last minute adjustments to costumes, took some pictures, and we were off. Poor Parker has asthma and was wheezing pretty bad about 15 minutes into trick-or-treating, so Mark and Peter took him back to our house for a breathing treatment. He insisted on going back out though once that was done. Our beautiful little pumpkin fell asleep about 3 minutes into it. Literally, we hadn't even gotten past the first house. But, the trick-or-treating part wasn't really for him anyway, so it was more cute than anything.

Last week was the most exhausting week of this quarter, so far. I had to write a mental health policy paper on an act concerning mentally ill offenders (sounds like a good time, doesn't it?). It ended up being 17 pages long, after I cut out some sections. Yeah, it was a beast and not what I wanted to be doing. I wanted to be reading Eclipse, the third book in the Twighlight series, with Mark and playing with my cute three month old. But, Mark didn't think that was the responsible thing to do. Thank goodness for my responsible husband. I finished the paper at 10:30pm Thursday evening after having worked on it all week and all that day (and I do mean ALL). It still wasn't as good as I wanted it to be, but it was done and I didn't care.

On Friday, Mark and I had planned 24 hours away. This included taking Gabriel to Mark's mom's house, going to a hotel, and spending 24 hours alone together. I know, you are all shocked that Mark was able to talk me into doing this so quickly, but I am really glad we did. Things didn't really go as planned. Mark had also had a really crappy week at work, and he didn't get home that night until 8:15pm. He was in an awful mood from what had happened at work that day and was really tired. I had decided that I wasn't going to be upset about it being so late, or even if we didn't go at all (and not because I didn't really want to go). We went back and forth about whether or not we should go, but Mark decided that we should. So, we quickly finished packing and were off. We didn't eat dinner until 10:30pm that night and we didn't get to see a movie as we had planned, but we had a great time. We went shopping the next day, we talked a ton, and we just enjoyed being together. We were both so glad we decided to go and make our relationship a priority.

Don't get me wrong, we both really missed Gabriel. He is an amazing blessing to us, and we are grateful for him every day of our lives. But, as Mark put it, one day all of our kids will be gone and we still want to know each other when it is just the two of us. Gabriel had a great time at Grandma and Grandpa's house (or at least Grandma and Grandpa had a great time with him). I did think it was cute that Mark was the first one to suggest that we should call his mom to make sure everything was going okay. He loves his son :).

I'm posting some of the family pictures that were taken a few weeks ago. I think they turned out really great! As predicted, Gabriel's stent of sleeping through the night did not last long. He did that for about a week or so, and then said, "okay, I'm done with that" and started getting up around 3am again. We're working back up to 7 or more hours at a time, but it is hit or miss at this point. Wish us luck.

Did you get up? No, did you?

2008-10-30T13:35:00.003-04:00

For the last week Mark and I have been given a wonderful gift.... the gift of sleep. Gabriel has been sleeping between 7-10 hours in a single chunk! He was falling asleep around 7:30 or 8pm and then getting up around 3am to eat. Suddenly, he decided he wanted to be awake until 10pm, which I wasn't happy about. But, when he slept until 5am I decided I could handle his being up until 10 thing. It is amazing how precious an uninterupted nights sleep becomes when you go without for so long. I didn't really think I was capable of functioning on so little sleep, but it is suprising what you can do when there isn't any other choice. I fully expect that this pattern of sleeping through the night will not hold indefinately, but while it does last, we'll take full advantage.

We're getting ready to go trick-or-treating tomorrow! I can't wait to put Gabriel's costume on him. We've carved pumkins and decorated the house. We'll be sure to post lots of pictures. Now, if I can just finish this paper that is due tomorrow :).

Yum, applesauce.

2008-10-23T14:07:00.013-04:00

A few weeks ago we went to a local farm with our next door neighbors, and picked apples. We had a blast. We picked twenty pounds each of golden delicious and jonathan apples. Some of the apples were as big as Gabriel's head. The next week Stacie, my neighbor, came over and my mom coached us in making and canning applesauce and apple pie filling. It was so much fun and everything turned out wonderfuly. I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and bought a sauce maker in order to make the apples into yummy mush. I ended up going to the other side of Columbus to buy it the morning we did the canning, due to my procrastination. Even with this, everything turned out great. I'm especially excited that we will be able to feed the applesauce to Gabriel when he gets a little bit older. I'll also be able to use the sauce maker to mush up other foods for him, like carrots, peas, yams, and other great fresh foods.

Mark took Gabriel for his two month check up two weeks ago. He weighed 13 pound 4 1/2 ounces, and was 22 inches long. This put him in the 90th percentile for weight and 25th percentile for height. Mark's sister, Becky, said "aw, he's his daddy's son". Mark didn't think she was very funny.

My family also had family pictures taken by a family friend a couple weeks ago. Here are a few of the pictures taken with our camera. I'll post more when we get a copy of the "professional" ones. I loved the fall feel of the pictures and the use of a local park where the trees were changing color. Thanks to my older sister, Elaine for her planning and creativity. She always comes up with great ideas for things like this.

I'm almost half way through fall quarter. I just can't wait to be done with this quarter. This is the busiest quarter I've had so far, and it's all the more difficult because I just want to spend all my time with Gabriel and Mark. I fell like I will be able to get through the rest of the program if I can just survive this quarter.

Things we don't want to do, and doing them anyway.

2008-10-05T20:11:00.006-04:00

I started back to school on Friday, September 26th. I have three more quarters until I graduate with my masters in Social Work. The first two years of my program were not easy, but not too hard either. Going back for this final nine months has been the hardest part of the whole experience. More precisely, leaving Gabriel with my sister-in-law all day long was the hardest thing I have had to do. This is not because I'm worried about the care he is getting at her house or anything like that. In fact, I think he is enjoying being at her house, because he gets a lot of attention from her three boys. I just don't want to be away from him.

The first day I left him, I called Mark and cried. He told me he understood and that it was going to be alright. I replied I knew that, but it didn't really make it any easier. The next time I had to leave him, Monday, it wasn't quite as hard. I think mainly because I was nervous about starting my internship. Tuesday, however, was even harder than either of the first two. I bawled as I got in my car and drove to my internship. I told Mark that evening, "I don't want to do this anymore". He said he wouldn't force me to finish, but he thought it was what was best for all of us. I know he is right, but again, it doesn't make it any easier.

On a happier note, he started to smile at us (on purpose) two weeks ago. It is the cutest thing in the entire world, and the most rewarding. I haven't been able to catch it on film yet, so I don't have a picture to post. He is also talking to us a ton. He is such a social baby. He loves to have someone talk to him and to talk back. He would love it if I would sit and talk to him for hours. A lot of the time I'm tempted. Some times I do. I don't ever regret it. He's getting so big! Mark is taking him for his two month check up this Friday. He will get his first immunizations. I'm a little sad and a little glad that I won't be there. I am really interested to see how much he's grown though.

These pictures were taken about three weeks apart. The one on the left was taken first. Maybe they don't look that different to you, but I see a big difference. He is really filling out, and gaining more control of his neck and arms.

We are also getting excited about Halloween. We bought him a pumkin costume, and I can't wait to take pictures. I was a pumkin for my first Halloween, so it's kind of a tradition. I know, he's only going to be three months old. But, I loved trick or treating when I was a kid. Mark was a little traumatized, which is another story, and I want Gabriel to enjoy it as much as I did. Plus, we're going with Becky and the boys, so it won't just be me carrying around a three month old. I can't wait!

Priorities

2008-08-21T23:26:00.009-04:00

It is amazing how quickly your priorities can change. Some things that took up your thoughts during the day can suddenly become completely nonexistent. Like a tv show or how dirty the basement may be. Other things intensify in importance, like how much income we have or what time we get home at night. Then there are things that were never important before, but become the most important goal of your whole day. This is what getting a burp out of my son has become. More accurately two burps after each 1 1/2 to 2 oz of formula. Why two burps you ask. I'm not really sure why, but Gabriel seems to be a two burp kind of baby. One just doesn't get the job done.

But, I digress. Mark made the comment the other day that Gabriel should enjoy being encouraged to burp while he still could. I started to think about how I might look back some day and think how silly or trivial it is that I am concerned so much about whether or not Gabriel burps. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that right now it's not trivial; it's me being a mom. I'm sure there are bigger worries ahead, and I may even look back at these days as easy, but I am so grateful that I am able to start worrying about him at this stage. I feel like I'm lucky that I get to worry about whether or not he burps, eats enough, poops enough, or has animal hair on his face. I can already see him changing every single day, and I just want to enjoy every part of his life with us as much as I can.

He's already started to smile at us. I know that they say it's not voluntary at this point, but who cares? When he looks up at me when I talk to him and he gets this wonderful grin on his face, it makes me get so excited. I feel a little bad for Mark that he has to work, when I get so much time during the day with Gabe. I can see the excitement on Mark's face when he comes home and sees the two of us. I know how important his family is to him.

Another little triumph was giving Gabriel his first bath two days ago. He doesn't really like to be naked, so I wasn't sure how he would react, but it went well. By the end he was definitely ready to be done, but he didn't pee in the water, we didn't drop him, and he smelled great, so I felt like it was a success. Here are a few pics from bath time. Mark did a great job of capturing the moment, without capturing the privates :).

We'll never be the same

2008-08-13T14:16:00.007-04:00

Our lives changed forever on Friday August 8th, 2008. A beautiful baby boy was born at 8:44am. An hour later he was in our arms and we knew we would love him forever. Gabriel Conner Lucas weighed 7 lb 12 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. He has wonderful black hair and baby gray/blue eyes. We brought him home on Monday August 11th, and have loved having him with us every moment. Yes, even in the middle of the night. We are so grateful to his birth family for their generosity and support that they showed us while he was still in the hospital. We are especially grateful to his birth mother, Andrea, who made the sacrifice of allowing us to bond with him in the hospital and giving us this amazing blessing. She will always have a special place in our hearts for the gift she has given us.

We have had so much love and support from our family and friends throughout this process. On Monday, when we brought him home, our parents came over to our house and met Gabe for the first time. It was so wonderful to see the people who taught us and love us most get to know our son. We love them so much for everything they have done to help bring us to this point in our lives. Thanks to everyone who has prayed for us, fed us, and loved us. We are all so touched by your generosity and caring. Okay, enough mushy stuff. Enjoy the cute pictures.