My Little Little

This is our Eli:

With Sarah's sister, Elaine

Every man needs a little light reading material while uses the facilities 

I feel like his older brother gets a lot of face time on our blog, because he is older, talks, and does more independently that I can report on.  So, I wanted to write a post just about my little little, as I like to call him. 

Eli is exactly what we needed to counter balance the very active, independent child who came before him.  I am so grateful for who he is and what he adds to our family.  He is not quite as mild as we thought he would be as a baby, but he is a little boy after all.  He loves to play with his big brother and try just about anything that Gabriel does, which makes me very nervous sometimes, because despite how close he is in height to his big brother, he is not nearly as sturdy.  He starts as many of the wrestling matches as Gabriel does.

He loves to jump or fall head first off of the couch, he loves to stand on things he shouldn't (like his car/scooter he got for Christmas), he loves to climb on things, he loves to reach his little hands up onto my counters and grab whatever he can just because he is able to reach them (needless to say, I have to be very careful about where I leave knives even for a second to turn to get something). 

Eli is also very gentle and cuddly.  He has the most joyous smile; his whole face lights up. 

He also has an ornery smile that I love to see, even if it means he's being well...ornery.  He often gets a very serious face like he's saying, "Mom, don't embarrass me."  He gives the most perfect kisses with the smacking noise and everything.  There is no way to describe how perfect they are or how happy they make us.

He is 19 months old, so, of course, he throws temper tantrums, but they are some of the most mild tantrums you will ever see, and he is easily talked out of them.  He is VERY tall for his age and VERY skinny.  Mark says that someday, when he is a teenager, he will be playing basketball and he'll have a conversation that will go:

teammates: "Dude, who is that short, fat, white guy going crazy in the stands every time you score,"
Eli: "that's my dad," 
Teammates: "No really, who is he," 
Eli:  "No really, that's my dad"

And Mark will be that crazy, super-proud-of-his-kids dad no matter what.  But that's another post about another person I love.

Eli doesn't talk very much at all.  We have started telling him that "ung" is not a word and if he wants something then he needs to use words.  He's not such a fan of this line.  In fact he has taken to sighing at me.  It's a sigh that would make any teenager proud.  He also does this when he is trying to tell me something and I say I don't understand as though he were saying, "if you aren't going to understand then why do I even try".  He thinks that we have known what he wanted up to this point without him talking, so why should that change now.  Mostly we are tired of screaming being a large part of his vocabulary, so we are trying to help him communicate without it.  One thing he did communicate very clearly to me recently was his discomfort with the Gorillas and Polar Bears at the zoo. 

I know this is super blurry, but it pretty accurately shows his opinion on being that close to the gorilla.



Gabriel trying to get Eli to smile for the camera.  He would not be persuaded.



He was not comforted by the thick glass separating him from these large creatures, and did not like it when I tried to get a picture of him in front of them.  I'll admit, I got a little bit of a laugh out of his reaction while still trying to show him I wouldn't let those big animals get him.

 His mommy is still his favorite person and he has just barely started calling daddy "dada" instead of "mama".  I love this!  I love that I'm the person he wants more than anyone or anything else.  I love that I can soothe him and comfort him at any time.  This is not to say that he doesn't love his daddy.  He gets so excited when daddy comes home and I love to see that too.  He also loves his big brother.  We can already tell that his family is very important to him and this brings us a great deal of happiness.  He brings us joy.



GO BLUE!! (or Red?)

In our home the most important color has been BLUE.  It is my favorite color as well as Mark's, but most importantly it is a way of declaring allegiance for my husband.  For those who don't know, Mark was born in Michigan, and as far as sports go, he is true to his home state.  It is true that he only lived there for the first couple years of his life, but a boy is taught sports by his Father and Mark has not strayed from that teaching.  From a very young age he has tried to instill the importance of rooting for the "right team" in our sons.  GO BLUE!!

Elijah is still too young to vocalize his preferences, but that has never been an issue for Gabriel.  He was vocal very early and definitely knows his own mind.  For a while now he has known that his favorite color is Red.  Everything should be red in Gabriel's eyes.  When we go somewhere he wants the town, person's home, or store to be red.  Not too long ago, when Mark was driving in circles waiting for me to come out of a store, Gabriel asked him if the circles they were driving in could be red.  He wishes the whole world could be red.  This is one of the colors of the "evil rival", so this fasination with all things red has been a bit of a concern for Mark. 

 

(His facination with the color might have something to do with a certain red race car.  Cachow!)

Recently, Gabriel said to Mark, "Daddy, when I grow up and play football on tv, I will wear red and you can wear red too and cheer for me in red."  At first, Mark's face fell and I could see he was a little sad because of this declaration.  But, my wonderful husband just looked at each of his sons and said, "I will always cheer for you and Eli, no matter what.  Even if you choose to wear red."  Now that's love!

Visiting (Birth) Family

About two months ago we were talking to Andrea, Gabriel’s birth mom, and we mentioned that we would really like to come see her again. We were able to see her and her mother, Tammy for the first time since Gabriel was born last August. We had talked on the phone, on the internet, and sent her pictures, but it was so wonderful to actually see her and spend time with her. Since that first visit, Mark and I had talked about how we didn’t want to go so long between visits again. So, when I broached the subject with her in November we were hoping she would interested in another visit as well. She definitely was, and told us that her grandmother and grandfather, who we also met when Gabriel was born, were upset that they hadn’t been able to see us (well, mostly Gabriel) during our last visit. Andrea said we could probably meet at her grandparents’ home this time, so we started making plans. We all agreed it would be easier to plan a time after the first of the year, so that is what we did.


One week before we were supposed to travel the two hours for our visit we all got sick. It was just a cold, but a fairly serious one, and I was very worried that we would end up having to reschedule. We prayed that we would recover in time to go and we were blessed. The day before we went we were all in good health, finally! We gathered everything we were taking with us and were on our way. The trip up and back went very well, which is no small feat with a three-year-old and one-year-old. When we got there Andrea, Nana Tammy (Andrea’s mother), Grandma Donna and Grandpa Ken (Andrea’s grandparents) were all waiting for us. They welcomed us in quickly and we immediately exchanged gifts. We had bought a single picture frame to put a picture of Andrea and me together in, and a collage in which I had already put pictures of her three children (including Gabriel). We hadn’t expected it, but they had gifts for both Gabriel and Elijah. The boys were thrilled to say the least! We spent the next four and a half hours talking and playing with the boys. They were wonderful! It was so obvious that they loved seeing Gabriel, but they also loved on Eli as though he were their grandson too. How could anyone think that having more love in a child’s life could possibly be a bad thing? It felt so natural to talk to them and be in their home. At the end of the visit we all agreed that we would like to do this more often. We told them that we would like for them to come to Gabriel’s birthday party in August, and we are planning a trip up to see them again in a few months. Mark and I are both very happy with the way our relationship with Gabriel’s birth family is evolving. We love them. We are family.

Sunshine!!

I've been working on a post about how

 I don't like winter,

I miss the sunshine during these months,

I long for warmth. 

Then the crazy Ohio weather gave us today. 

The high today was 62 degrees!!! 

It was sunny and beautiful

and we took advantage by going outside and playing. 

So, I'll save that winter pick-me-up post for another time

and just be thankful for the great day we've been given.

Hoping to Adopt

We are hoping to adopt! We are so excited to be working toward adding another child (and their first family) to our family. We are approved through LDS Family Services. You can see our profile at https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/27073241/ourMessage.jsf and http://www.hopingtoadopt.org/index.php/family/letters/450. One of the best ways to share this dream of ours is through our family and friends, so if you know of anyone who might be interested in finding out more about our family or adoption in general, please share these links with them! You can also email us at markandsarah13@gmail.com. One of the great things about our agency is that they offer free counseling services to expectant parents to help them figure out what their options are, and whether to place their child for adoption or choose to parent. Our Social Worker's name is Kimberly Toronto and she is very easy to talk to. If you would like to reach her directly you can call the Ohio LDS Family Services office at 614-836-2466 or email at torontokw@ldsfamilyservices.org. We know that Heavenly Father is directing the work of adoption. We have seen the way in which adoption can join the hearts and lives of those involved, and we are so grateful that we have been able to have this amazing blessing in our lives.

Back to Basic, Back to Blogging

In 2010 I decided that one of the things I wanted to include as a New Year's resolution was to blog more, and I did. However, after Eli was born I felt a need to get back to basics on many levels...hmm, I wonder why. Having a new baby, I imagine, can do that for you. Another thing that has been on my mind is our relationships with each of the boys' birth moms. This blog was started, in part, for them, but I was feeling the need to reach out to them more, so we have made that effort. We haven't been successful on all fronts, but I am definitely pleased with where our relationship with Andrea, Gabriel's birth mom, has progressed to. On August 6^th, two days before Gabe's 3^rd birthday, we saw Andrea and her mother Tammy for the first time since Gabriel was born. It was an awesome experience. I feel like we have grown much closer. We have called, we have messaged through Facebook, we talked through Skype on Christmas, and I am so excited to say that we have another trip planned in the next couple weeks to go see her and more of her extended family. Gabriel is so excited! He keeps telling people "we have 16 more days (or however many it may be) til we go see my tummy mommy!". I love seeing how excited he is and feeling that excitement myself. I love that he knows her, that he tells people about her, and that he knows that she loves him. She will always be a part of us because she is a part of him, and she means so much to us. I hope to develop a closer relationship with Eli's birth mom in the future. Even though we are not in contact with her now, she is always in our thoughts and prayers, and we love her.

The boys are wonderful. I love being at home with them! I love my husband, who works hard, so that I can be at home, and who wants me there as much as I want to be there. Gabriel learns so quickly. He is learning to identify his numbers and letters, and even writing a little. He loves to color with markers, paint, and read books. He likes playing with cars, trains, and pretty much any toy with wheels or wings. He also likes to build things. We have recently had a friend come do some repairs around our house and he has let Gabriel watch as he works on things. Gabriel has been in heaven. He is such a smart kid and he loves to see how things work.

My Gabriel is so full of adventure

I love to see him happy

Elijah will be 18 months old and he is every bit as ornery. Whoever said the terrible twos start at 2 years old was lying. Still, he is also such a sweet heart. Even at this young an age you can tell that he loves his family. He wants to do everything his big brother does and he is almost as tall as Gabriel, so he tries a lot of what Gabriel does, which makes for a very nervous mommy sometimes. He still loves to cuddle. He also loves all things vehicular. He got a car that he can sit on for Christmas and he plays on it most of the day. He doesn't use words very much, I think because he has a big brother who does a lot of talking for him, and he seems to get his point across without talking. We have been working on getting him to talk to us lately and he is making a good deal of progress. He is so tall, and we expect by the time he is ready to be baptized that Eli will be as tall as Mark.

My beautiful Eli

I love this picture of my boys. They love each other so much and it makes us so happy!

It is amazing the amount of joy a happy family brings. Believe me, things are not perfect, but perfect is not really the point. It is definitely true that it is the little things that bring the greatest happiness.

Baby Brother!

It's a boy! He is beautiful and healthy and we are so grateful to have another baby. Everything has happened so fast that I think I am still a bit in shock. We had 17 days from when we found out we had been chosen by a birth mother to when our son was born. Elijah Daniel Leland entered the world on July 19th and it seems our world has changed yet again.

Mark and I traveled down to Huntington, West Virginia on Sunday evening, the 18th, as we had been told that Eli's birth mother would be induced Monday morning. We left Gabriel in the capable hands of our friends, Cortney and Greg. It was really hard being away from him for four days, and we couldn't have done it without them and the many family members who have helped in caring for him or driving back and forth to see us. On Monday we sat in the waiting room for many hours without almost any information. Because of some of the details of our birth mother's situation, the hospital staff were VERY uneasy about sharing any information even when they had signed releases. We finally were told around 3pm by the hospital Social Worker, who was amazing, that it was still going to be a while before the baby was born. She advised that we take a break from sitting in the waiting room, go back to our hotel, and do something to relax. We went back to the hotel and took a nap, which was just what we both needed as we hadn't gotten much sleep the night before.

A little after 5pm our case worker, Spencer, came to our hotel to let us know what was going on. While we were napping he had arrived at the hospital and had talked to our birth mom. That morning she had asked the hospital Social Worker what her rights were for keeping the baby. This is a totally normal reaction for a birth mom. Who wouldn't hesitate to give their baby to someone else to raise? Spencer, who is fabulous at working with birth moms without pressuring them to place, came to the hospital to talk to her, see how she was feeling, and help her to understand her options. Once she had the chance to talk with him she was able to better understand her options and come back to the conclusion that she was making the right choice for this baby to give him to us. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to meet us, and whether or not she wanted to share her last name with us. This would determine whether or not we would be able to spend any time with the baby before the relinquishment papers were signed. So, Monday was a very stressful day for all involved. Still, we knew that Heavenly Father would help Eli's birth mom to know what she needed to do and if we were meant to be the parents of this baby, he would help that to happen.

Some how we were able to sleep on Monday night. We got up the next morning, got ready to go, and sat and waited for some word as to what was going on. Finally, at about 10:15am, Spencer texted Mark and said that we should come to the hospital and that we would be able to see the baby. We quickly grabbed our wallets, phones, camera, and a few other things and drove the 5 minutes to the hospital. I think that was the moment I realized how grateful I was that Mark had insisted we spend more money to stay closer to the hospital in a nicer hotel. After extensive identity checking, we were put in an empty patient room while a nurse went to get the baby. It was only about a half hour from the time we got the text to when we finally got to meet Elijah, but it felt like forever. He was worth the wait. He was so tiny, but long. He has a ton of soft black hair and beautiful dark brown, almost black, eyes. He is beautiful. Unlike his brother, who was born C-section, Eli was a little beat up from delivery. He has a stork bite on his face, which was very bright, and he was very puffy. Still, we thought he was amazing. We were able to be with him for many hours that day in the privacy of that patient room. It was perfect.

Spencer also told us that Elijah's birth mom had decided that she did want to meet us. I met with her by myself first, then later that day, Mark also met her. Over the next few days I spent several hours with her, getting to know her and talking about Eli. She felt that it was very important that we, as mothers, get to know each other and bond. One of the many ways we knew that this baby is meant to be a part of our family was how he was named. As many of you know, Gabriel has two middle names. One was given to him from his birth mom and one from us. Eli's birth mom asked if we would be willing to give him the middle name of Leland, but she didn't think it went well with Elijah, so she suggested that we could give him another middle name as well. It was perfect. This solution went perfectly with what we had already done with Gabriel. I think it is a wonderful tradition that our birth moms have been able to give our sons a middle name and it just shows how Heavenly Father helps us see how right certain situations are. The second and third day we spent with Elijah in the hospital they stuck us in the overflow nursery area. It was far from ideal or comfortable, but we were with Eli and it was a little amusing.

I will forever be grateful for the experience of spending time with Eli's birth mom. She told me toward the end of our time there that she was very grateful that she chose to meet us and that this is what finally helped her to know that she was doing the right thing. She told us that she came to understand that because she loves Eli, that giving him to us is the most selfless and loving thing she could do for him. We are so thankful for her. She is amazing, as is Gabriel's birth mom. We have great respect for them. While being able to take our babies home from the hospital is one of the most exciting and happy times of our lives, knowing that their birth moms are feeling so sad is very sad for us. It is truely a bitter sweet experience.

We were reunited with Gabriel that night, thanks to Mark's wonderful sister, Sarah, and it was so fun to see Gabriel meet his baby brother for the first time. He was excited and gentle and it was great! Sarah also brought my nephew, Collin, who stayed with me for several days after Mark and Sarah had to go back to Ohio. All together, I was in West Virginia for 18 days. By the end I was going a little crazy, but it was definately worth it. We now have our beautiful Elijah.

He is so completely different from Gabriel, except in his very fast growth. He was 6 pounds 13 ounces, and 20 inches (really 21, but he wouldn't cooperate) when he was born. At his 3 week check up he was already 9 pounds. He loves to cuddle especially with his mommy. He is definately a momma's boy. Gabriel was and is still very social. Even as a new born baby, he wanted to be able to see what was going on, so we had to hold him facing out. Gabriel was standing a lot of the time, by about 3 weeks old. He was a big daddy's boy. He loved his momma, but he still adores his daddy. They are best buds. Eli on the other hand is all about momma. He has attached to me so quickly and completely that it has surprised me a bit. I love being the person who can sooth him at all times. He is content to stare into someones eyes for a long time, and he is more interested in cuddling then in seeing what there is to see. We love both of our boys so much! They have each brought such unique and amazing things into our lives.

Elijah's statistics:
born July 19th at 7:43pm

6lbs, 13oz

20 inches